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February 27, 2004
Birthday Babble #1
Now I know all of you party attendees from last weekend's fest are chomping at the bit. You came from near and far to watch Jill turn 40, and it wasn't pretty. I'm working on the blog, don't get into panic mode yet....I can't seem to get my feeble brain into gear. I'm hoping that a return to the scene of the crime (the Casa de Cornell) will help me in this endeavor. Maybe the animals can give me some advice.......or maybe some cheap swill will do the trick. In the meantime, here is the poem I wrote for the birthday chick, in case you didn't get a chance to read it......or in case my voice was out of tune......bubbly, you know....
JILL JUMPS OVER THE HILL!
Go, Man, Go! I’m about to tell the tale
‘Bout a loudmouthed girlie-girl, with some decorated nails
She’s a wacky Pisces kid, and her ankle shows it well
Except for sweaty summertime, when her tattoo starts to swell
Well her given name is Jill, but we call her many things
And she owns a bunch of funky, chunky, sterling silver rings
She’s the thirsty “Coors Lite Queen” and “The Irritator” too
And her hair’s been every shade, of the rainbow’s many hues
At the Casa de Cornell, that Jill shares with Jeff the Chef
There’s a wacky LuLu mutt, who will bark until you’re deaf
And a tiny Lucky Dog, that’s his mama’s “little boy”
For he’s just about as giant, as a squeaky rubber toy
Now this lively “Boat Wench” chick, likes to hang out with her gals
They’re the crazy “Triad” bunch, and the best of rowdy pals
On the noisy boat drag scene, the “Ca-Stay-Yeck” girls belong
“Mountain Girl” laughs with glee, while “Miss Stefani” belts a song
Underneath Jill’s XL clothing, there’s a mouse from Disneyland
With both gloved hands on his hips, “Mickey” stands out from her tan
And upon her TEENY-WEENSY wrists, are bracelets full of charms
As we fans of Ho-Ho’s know, they won’t go further up our arms!
Like a bat right out of Hell, my younger sister drives her car
It’s a screaming red Toyota, and she steers it fast and far
To Sequoia Brewery, Tahoe Joe’s and Mike’s cool pizza place
With Dwight Yoakum on the stereo, a grin lights up her face
As a member of the “BOP” Girls Club, this bimbo is the best
Her “shop until you drop” finesse, will put you to the test
Today she turns the BIG FOUR-OH! and everywhere in town
Karaoke cowboys slam down many Silver Bullet rounds
To My Favorite Girlfriend
Thanks For Being Here
HAPPY 40TH BIRTHDAY JILL!!!
With much love and “Two Buck Chuck” Chardonnay
-Wen.
February 23, 2004
Posted by Wendy at 10:37 AM | Comments (1)
February 5, 2004
HOORAY FOR HOLLYWOOD
Everybody comes to Hollywood
They wanna make it in the neighborhood
They like the smell of it in Hollywood
How could it hurt you when it looks so good
I lost my memory in Hollywood
I’ve had a million visions, bad and good
There’s something in the air in Hollywood
I tried to leave it but I never could
-Excerpt, "Hollywood", Madonna
It all began one Friday night, the air was clear, the moon was bright
When Ethel Merman drove her car, with Patti Simcox, to the bar
And Shelly Winters joined her there, with Double Debi and her hair
At “Mike’s” they slammed their cocktails down, then sped off to the edge of town
“The Longhorn” was the place to be, where Coors Lite is a delicacy
Patti started shooting pool, and showed those cowboys who was cool
But from the corners of their eyes, the girls beheld an old surprise
A “Kawasaki” stared too long, so with a wave, those chicks were gone
Just up the street our gal pals found, a “Central” place to clown around
Double Debi sang to Dwight, his “Ring of Fire” lit up the night
They passed around the popcorn bowl, then stepped back out into the cold
A warmer climate could be good, so off they went to “Hollywood”
And there they found a bearded star, who sang real deep and smoked cigars
Shelly loved the ladies loo; “it has the NICEST sink”, she swooned
A lively bloke in stocking’d cap, attempted climbing Ethel’s lap
The BOP kids ordered “Blue Balls” drinks, which turned their cheeks a rosy pink
But if you think they stopped at that, you better hang on to your hat
They danced to Journey, Billy Squire, and never did they seem to tire
And to their much surprised delight, it was a KAROKE night!
Patti, Debi, Shelly crooned, that “Okie From Muskogee” tune
Soon afterward they bid good-bye, and to “The Office” they did fly
While Ethel argued for her change, the barkeep thought her truly strange
And as the hour was growing late, the gals sought hot food on a plate
So back to “Mike’s” they headed fast, for pizza and a vino glass
Before the lassies called it quits, they went to Debi’s for some kicks
A nightcap of some Ficklin’ Port, in little glasses, cool and short
Then Ethel took Miss Patti home, and soon the ending to our poem
A weary Debi found her room, while Shelly howled beneath the moon
The Players:
Ethel Merman – Susan
Patti Simcox – Kerry
Double Debi (Little Debbie’s evil twin) – Jill
Shelly Winters – Wendy
Kawasaki – a certain acquaintance of a certain BOP girl
Blue Balls – a shot drink made of blue, raspberry flavored vodka and other unknown ingredients
"Mike’s Pizzeria", "The Longhorn", "The Central", "The Hollywood", "The Office" – As Themselves
Posted by Wendy at 3:58 PM | Comments (9)