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So I was cruising down the freeway this morning at my usual Batmobile speed, trying to break the sound barrier, when a light bulb popped over my cranium. What we rat race members need to do, is officially assign an appropriate name for each lane on the bustling highways and byways of America. It appears…

I am so in love with my family, it’s sickening. Here I am, in my cousin’s old childhood bedroom, staring at faded photographs, and not even recognizing myself. Pathetic. But, time rolls on, and I can’t be expected to look as good in a bikini, cut off shorts, and halter-tops as I did when I…

So before I begin the REAL blogging, here’s an idea that’s been floating around in my mind for weeks. Just because we’re SO sick of them both, I think Paris Hilton and Tom Cruise should dump their respective fiance’s, get married, have Carl’s Jr. burgers for the reception, jump on that Top Gun motorcycle, and…

So I turned 44 a couple weeks ago, and never in all those years have I ever heard this particular phrase; “I call you — you give me number”I SATISFY YOU. It’s okay; I’ll give you a moment to digest this. I’m absolutely certain you can only hear an offer like this at “The Brig”,…